These here are currently my top 10 favourite lol's from the works of Douglas Adams (a kindof meme stolen from Patsy)
1. Here the man in blue crimplene accosted us once more but we patiently explained to him that he could fuck off.
2. I've heard an idea proposed, I've no idea how seriously, to account for the sensation of vertigo. It's an idea that I instictively like and it goes like this. The dizzy sensation we experience when standing in high places is not simply a fear of falling. It's often the case that the only thing likely to make us fall is the actual dizziness itself, so it is, at best, an extremely irrational, even self-fulfilling fear. However, in the distant past of our evolutionary journey toward our current state, we lived in trees. We leapt from tree to tree. There are even those who speculate that we may have something birdlike in our ancestral line. In which case, there may be some part of our mind that, when confronted with a void, expects to be able to leap out into it and even urges us to do so. So what you end up with is a conflict between a primitive, atavistic part of your mind which is saying "Jump!" and the more modern, rational part of your mind which is saying, "For Christ's sake, don't!"
3. If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands.
4. Dennis Hutch had stepped up into the top seat when its founder had died of a lethal overdose of brick wall, taken while under the influence of a Ferrari and a bottle of tequila.
5. For Children: You will need to know the difference between Friday and a fried egg. It's quite a simple difference, but an important one. Friday comes at the end of the week, whereas a fried egg comes out of a chicken. Like most things, of course, it isn't quite that simple. The fried egg isn't properly a fried egg until it's been put in a frying pan and fried. This is something you wouldn't do to a Friday, of course, though you might do it on a Friday. You can also fry eggs on a Thursday, if you like, or on a cooker. It's all rather complicated, but it makes a kind of sense if you think about it for a while.
6. ’She hit me on the head with the rock again.’
’I think I can confirm that that was my daughter.’
’You have to get to know her,' said Arthur.
’She eases up does she?’
’No,’ said Arthur, ‘but you get a better sense of when to duck.’
7. He believed in a door. He must find that door. The door was the way to... to... The Door was The Way. Good. Capital letters were always the best way of dealing with things you didn't have a good answer to.
8. ‘Well, I hope you had a lousy evening.'
’I did,' said Richard. ‘You wouldn't have liked it. There was a horse in the bathroom, and you know you hate that sort of thing.'
9. ‘You know they've reintroduced the death penalty for insurance company directors?'
’Really?' said Arthur. `No I didn't. For what offence?'
Trillian frowned, ’What do you mean, offence?’
10. Ford, you’re turning into a Penguin. Stop it.